Toast & Vows There is no law about who speaks when, but guests notice when the order feels off. Here are the two traditions most couples start from and the ways people change them today.
Traditional American order
- The host welcomeOften the father of the bride or both parents, welcoming everyone and thanking them for coming.
- Maid of honorStories about the bride and a toast to the couple.
- Best manStories about the groom and a toast to the couple.
- The coupleA short thank-you from the newlyweds, together or one after the other.
Traditional British order
- Father of the brideWelcomes the guests, talks about his daughter, welcomes the groom and toasts the bride and groom.
- The groomThanks the father of the bride, the guests and both families, compliments his spouse and traditionally toasts the bridesmaids.
- The best manReplies on behalf of the bridesmaids, tells his stories and closes with a toast to the couple.
Many British weddings now add a maid of honor or bride speech, usually after the groom and before the best man, who is still saved for last as the "headline" act.
When do the speeches happen?
Most couples hold speeches either just before the meal, so speakers can relax and enjoy their food, or between courses, which keeps the evening moving. A few save them for after dinner and before the first dance. Before the meal is increasingly popular for a simple reason: nervous speakers stop being nervous sooner.
Modern variations
- Couple first: the newlyweds open with a joint welcome and thank-you, then hand over to the wedding party.
- Joint parent speech: both parents, or parents from both sides, speak together.
- Sibling speeches: a sister or brother speaks in place of, or as well as, the wedding party.
- Split across the evening: one or two speeches before dinner and the rest after, so nobody sits through 40 minutes at once.
Tips for the running order
- Tell every speaker their slot and target length a few weeks before. See our speech length guide.
- Put the funniest speaker last, the same way a show saves its headliner.
- Ask speakers to share their main story in advance so two people don't tell the same one.
- Keep the whole block to 20–30 minutes.
Know your slot? Write your speech.
Our generator follows the traditional structure for every role, from the father of the bride to the best man. Start writing →